A New Somethin' !!!

Dear Online Diary,

I will no longer be a sad lil' girl who thinks too much, cares very much and in the end gets hurt pretty bad. Today will be a beginnin' of the new me, with the new month and the new job. Its time to start fresh, a new adventure. What's gone is gone, I'll stop worrying about it anymore. It's only a journey until I reach my destination I'll meet new people, make new friends and keep up with good old ones!!! It's time to wash down all the memories that make me sad and cherish those that i want to relive again. Be a Stronger person, i'll hold on to my dreams and my imperfections 'cause I believe there are people out there who love and support me and who would not judge me on the basis of how I appear to 'em. So i'll never let people define me. I know who I am and I know what i do and as long as my conscience stays true i'll be better off without 'em.

Recently, i had some really experiences and some really bad experiences with people, but I learned the hard way and that people, whom you expect to be ordinary would turn out to be good and thoughtful while people you can count your life on, would leave you anytime. But honestly, i cannot blame anyone, as they say "one day even your own shadow will leave you away". So anyway, its a new day, i'll be away from worldly affairs. It's good in a way 'cause i'll be as busy as a bee (i hope). A new office, new work and new people, excited i am, nervous a lil' !!! all in all a new somethin' it'll be !!! ;)

The best thing about writing is knowing that somewhere someone gets inspired from your thoughts or writin' style. I always thought of my blog as some place to vent out my happiness, sadness and madness :P !!! Its almost 12 and instead of sleeping i'm writing, and the perfectly suitable reason is that i'm not sleepy(after a long time), also i got something on my mind. I'm missin' people close to me, may Allah SWT keep 'em safe, healthy and happy. So, what have you been upto and when was the last time you were at peace with this world, totally, completely content in what you have? If you ask me i don't remember the last time i was fully content or at peace. I have been happy, sad, angry but i don't remember bein' content. O'course its human nature to never be satisfied with what they have. We can't seem to let go of things in the past. We always forget about things we have for which we need to be thankful to Allah SWT. And unless or until we lose that thing (livin'/non-livin') we never really value what we have. Nowadays, i get upset more than often, worryin' about things that are going to happen or not. I somehow got entangled in the never endin' "form cycle", the procedure of filling multiple exam forms and appear in each without preparin' anythin'. Hopin' that sometimes luckily i get through one of these, get a better job. I want to keep writin', its the one of the things that helps me forget about the bad things in life (other things include readin' and watchin' movies/series). Memories are weird things, they make us happy and sad at the same time. Remember those days when you had winter home work, and you enjoyed doin' that work with mom or dad by your side and snowfall outside. Man!! why do we grow up? I'm missin' those days, life was so simple, when did it become so complicated? So many dreams i had, sure that they were goin' to be true someday. So, happy it made me, only imaginin' those things. I've quit chattin', I talk less. No, i'm not depressed, just changed a lil' bit, actin' like a grown up. Nah, the thing is when i talk people stare at my braces, it feels weird :P
Forget it, i need focus on important things in my life. I know that one day i'll be successful, famous, happy and content, ultimately, that day is not far behind till then i'll enjoy the lil' bits of life.

Depressin' me !! Don't Read !!!

When you leave college, you feel like you are on top of the world. Your future seems so bright, like you imagined. You are about to bring the "change" in the world that you were aspirin' for, long back. But soon reality hits you, and you realize that world is a nightmare and you stand nowhere. Your dreams are only dreams until you work hard, and even if you work hard, luck should favour you. 

If there's one thing i wanted so bad, this year, was a stable much earnin' job, I wanted to get settled, and by settled i mean "financially independent". But as they say and it holds true "man proposes God disposes". I turned out to be a loser, the biggest disappointment in my family,"the black sheep" should i say. Still my family loves me, i wonder why :( I don't remember the last time i made my parents proud of me.

It hurts you know, bein' a failure. May be i shouldn't have kept my hopes high, i shouldn't have worked so hard to get it in the first place. My confidence was on cloud 9 before it all came crashin' down and hit the ground pretty hard.

i miss my Grandfather's wise words, i need 'em so badly right now !!! i will keep my head high, i will strive again, i will beat the odds, i will survive !!! with this note i say goodbye till i find somethin' inspirin' to write !!!! :)

Working Women vs. Housewives, an unavoidable debate !!!

Should women be working or stay at home? Always the kind of debate i try to avoid for so many reasons, firstly i respect both, so if i say anything in favour of working women, it would go against the non working and secondly i am not able put my word across in a better agreeable way, so to some it doesn't matter what i say or do. 

It always starts with "Why do you want to be independent(financially)"? and i am always like "Why not? Did i pursue my higher qualifications just to be at home. Did my parents just raise me to get married and have kids? Wouldn't it be a huge waste of the investment made by my parents on my education? Could i not be a helping hand like the "son"? If that was the case i shouldn't have studied so much, should have studied till 12th and get married as soon as school was over. Somebody should've warned me that i have to study well but not get my hopes high, be an aimless person and don't dream too much. Because in the end you are going to get married and be a housewife. You don't need computers to be a good housewife, you need to be a little bit educated, have cooking skills, and other things. ".

I conducted a survey on whatsapp and i asked some of my friends the same question. Mostly, people said they would prefer working, as their mother or aunties have been working and and they don't think working moms are careless or irresponsible. On the other hand, people whose mother or aunts are housewives supported housewives. This mindset that housewives are better than working woman, and can build a home or a child's future in better way is actually the outcome of how things are from their side.

A housewife's life is difficult, I agree, though she enjoys the luxuries of being at home, while as a working woman has to face many challenges. A housewife can look after her family in a more effective way. She is there 24/7 for her kids and family. She gets to decorate and redecorate her house, she takes up new hobbies and learns new skills. And then there are voluntary housewives and forced housewives, voluntary housewives: mostly not educated or less educated, rarely high qualified. Forced housewives: who want to work but can't, sometimes because her family/husband won't allow, and sometimes because she didn't get a good job.

A working woman on the other hand is independent, not a liability, has a sense of security and self-respect (some consider that ego). Moreover, she has to balance her work at office and at home, so much hard-work and struggle that she has to do to reach the top. To be the best mom for her kids,  a good wife to her husband and a good daughter-in-law, at the same time maintaining her professional career. Its amazing to see how she can do everything without complaining. How do i know this, my mom is a working lady too. She has done her best to maintain the balance and we grew up well. She took care of everything we wanted and she is always there whenever we need her. She taught us to be a good human and do the right thing. She is my inspiration and i am so proud of her. 

Some say kids of working women don't get the right kind of care, say their house isn't perfect(but i turned out to be okay i think, right?;). Actually it all depends on how well a girl has been groomed, a housewife can make or break a home and so can a working lady. Therefore, don't think what people say, as sometimes you'll be criticized, sometimes praised and sometimes hated for what you do, good or bad deeds, people are always going to talk. At the end of the day you don't have to be answerable to anyone but Almighty so follow your heart, live your dreams and do the right things. And it doesn't matter if she is a housewife or a working lady, both are good homemaker in their own ways. #Respect for both!!! 

When your workplace is more fun than your work !!!

My first ever job started in December 2012, i was a bit nervous and enthusiasm was at its peak !!! Since i was the only girl there at first, i didn't talk to my colleagues much. It was kind of lonely but i liked it still, may be professional life is supposed to be humorless afterall. Although, there were some known faces already working there, one was a funny(friendly) face and another a serious face, both from my college, whom i didn't talk to much during my college days. Within weeks time i got lectures from my boss, may be i still wasn't getting used to that environment. I felt bad and disheartened at first but then like everything falls back to their place, my professional life did too. Once i got a hold of it i loved my work esp. the web designing. One of my friends also got recruited there and just 2 weeks after, she joined and it was the best day so far. I felt relieved as there was someone i could talk to now, like truly. Ultimately we came to know our colleagues and that they were fun to work with. Life was good but turned out better when another friend joined. We had joy, we had fun, we talked, we worked (sincerely) and we laughed at stupid lil' things. Colleagues became work friends. Always supportive and helpful, who knew work place could be so lively and enjoyable.

Each of my work friend has a unique quality, and without each that place would become boring(no offense). Although I don't know if they'll allow me to write their original names, so i'm gonna write the names of countries as their aliases instead. Malaysian(guy), the most entertaining and the most hilarious friend. I didn't like him during my college days, thought he was arrogant, always makes fun of other people. But as i got to know him better, he is really good at heart and always trying to make others smile or laugh their lungs out :P. Pakistani(guy), the most selflessly helpful and the most supportive person i've ever met. I feel he is sort of at the wrong place right now with so much knowledge and brains he has got and did i mention he also teases like an annoying lil' brother(right uncle;). Egyptian(gal), really calm and cool girl, with a good sense of humor plus her dancing at awkward moments or sometimes before the boss, its so funny :D just gets a bit emotional, but without emotions you can't be human, right !?! Emiratis(gal), she was my friend before and she is my friend still, humble and caring, way too much caring sometimes. These days she is lost in her thoughts(or should i say lost in her cellphone), was engaged few weeks back(you know;). All these plus the other people, like my boss, what can i say about my boss except that "The boss is always right" !!!=)

What am I really good at ?!?!

Writing a Story today !! 
Gotta be "creative" !!

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads...afraid, confused, without a roadmap. I am having that moment right now and i don't know what to do. I thought i am good at writing and could do something big in the near future (which seemed so bright at that time). I was having doubts about my career as a programmer but it is more fun than writing, now that i've understood. Why all of a sudden writing seems so depressing and not the kind of thing i would do for a living. May be its the peer pressure, cause people around me are overwhelmed. I can't take criticism, true, but i didn't know that i can't even handle compliments. I am afraid that I will not be able to write anymore, good or bad doesn't matter. It's been months since i blogged last. Writing used to make me feel good and light-hearted when i poured my heart out there. I didn't care and it didn't matter what the world thinks. 
So this is how it all ends, all the hype, all the praises, all the admiration, all for nothin'. Its hard to say goodbye to writing. I need a ray of hope, somethin' to get me outta my misery, somethin' that would help me believe in myself and that somethin' is a miracle !!!

With Execution dies Humanity !!!

I woke up at 8:30am on a Saturday mornin' with no mood to go to office. Although i love my work, its one of those times when i want to sleep more, I want a holiday and I need a break. After gettin' ready when i went for breakfast, my mom says "Its curfew today, why did you get ready. Didn't didz told you". I was happy as i got the holiday/break that i needed so much, at the same time a lil' annoyed that didz could've let me sleep a bit more. Anyway, "why is there curfew?" was my next question. "Afzal Guru has been hanged" was the answer."who?"

Afzal Guru was a Kashmiri Muslim who was convicted for some attack long time ago and imprisoned since then, i didn't remember so i began to listen what news channels have to say about him. The story went like this : Parliament attack convict Afzal Guru hanged. Curfew imposed in Kashmir. Every time i saw him in his earlier recorded videos bein' carried by police, i thought to myself "he looks so innocent. how can he be the mastermind in carryin' such attack? why did they hang him? did they see him kill someone? what's the story behind all this?" It got me curious "i want to know the truth" so i went back to my room, reached for my laptop and continued to look. Startin' from social networkin' sites (i know other people would have a lot more information about it) then to various news websites. The more i read the more i felt bad and the more it breaks my heart. Many death sentences awaiting capital punishment, so why hurry in the case of Afzal Guru, why now? A spokesman said,“Although many death sentences are awaiting execution in India, only Afzal Guru's death sentence was executed by the government of India to please their vote bank. The fact remains that this decision is purely political in nature because Afzal Guru was not given a fair trial. Many loopholes have been found by the conscious jurists of India as well in the execution process.” Tortured, framed for a crime he didn't commit, not given a fair trial his interviews in Tihar jail make me cry. And now hanged without even informin' his family, his last wish to see his family wasn't fulfilled and neither was the body given back to his family. Is this the so-called democracy, the peace keepin' nation who convict innocent people for crimes they don't commit, imprison and beat them until they confess and then hang them secretly so that no one questions them.

There were protests in other states other than Kashmir. There were protests on the internet and some people without knowing the whole story were happy to see him hanged, clamin' he deserved that. "What the heck? What's wrong with them? How can they be happy about executin' someone? Isn't there a lil' bit of humanity left in 'em? or have they turned into savages?". So why were they against him. Is it because he was a Muslim or a Kashmiri? The truth is hurtful, i began to hate the biased news channels (esp. Times Now) who portrayed Afzal Guru as a national threat, a terrorist and what not. It makes me hate myself when i feel helpless and do nothin' about the atrocities and injustice done. Why somethin' wasn't done back then when he was convicted for a crime he didn't commit? Why do people raise a voice only when the tragedy has already taken place?i pity us(humans). Turnin' a blind eye to evil makes us evil, and evil will suffer on the day of judgement, then justice would be served !!!

To know more about the case and the trail and the victim check out the link Breaking The News by Arundhati Roy

The much awaited Snowfall!!!

 

Winters has its charm only when it snows...At times when we don't get much snowfall, we crave for it, we plan picnics to the place which get snowfall such as Gulmarg or Sonmarg. So the good thing about snowfall is we don't need to go out to enjoy.We can just make a picnic out of it at our own places, enjoy with family, take a break from tech-madness. I don't  know what you people do when it snows but let me tell you what i do. I watch it as it falls down, it makes everythin' look so peaceful. Sometimes when i'm out i walk on the crispy soft snow, even if the snow is cleared on the main road, i like to walk on the footpath bearin' snow. In Kashmir, usually people prepare Harissa (a really tastly dish) to welcome Sheen (Snow)...When the snow settles down me and my cousins put on the gloves and more clothes then go out, make snowman or do snow fight ...This time i couldn't go out though(cough cold and all that)... The best thing about snow is that it makes everything look so bright and white...but the worst thing about it is the electricity cut off for a long duration of time...I'm amazed durin' this snowfall it happened only for 12 hrs or so...seems like Kashmir is progressin' and developin' after all !!! so enjoy this snowfall and make it last for all and those who don't get snowfall enjoy anyway cause you never know what tomorrow can bring you !!! see you next time till then keep rockin' and stay happy =))